Friday, February 14, 2020

Goodbye Poem

What's Left Unsaid
There are so many things
I wish I could say
but I can’t find the words to say them.
So many more feelings
are still in my heart
but I just can’t seem to convey them.
And as I struggle
to somehow let go
I sense understanding in your eyes.
You seem to see
what’s inside of me,
you see right through my disguise.
It helps to know that whatever I can’t 
tell you right now in words,
will still be communicated
through our hearts
and my message will still be heard.
Though the time has come
to say our farewell
I find so much comfort instead
to know my goodbye
means so much more
because you hear what’s left unsaid.

By Jenn
June 20, 1992

The Rest of the Story

Everyone who knows me knows I have a really bad memory. I mean it. I have a difficult time remembering what I did last week, let alone 28 years ago. I am amazed at people like my husband that seem to remember every single moment they’ve ever lived since age two. Thankfully various journals and poems I’ve written through the years have provided an anchor to my past. These words generally spark that ability to recall something I haven’t thought of in years.

Every now and then, however, I come across a poem I wrote and think to myself, when in the heck and why in the heck did I ever write this poem? I came across the above poem recently and found myself asking the same questions. I’ve wracked my brain trying to think of the circumstances surrounding it. The subject matter seems a bit mature for my high school self, based on the date it was written, so I am pretty sure I didn’t write this poem from experience. Cue the memory recall spark. I do have a vague memory of someone coming to me once and asking me to write a poem for them due to a similar situation. They needed to say goodbye to someone but were having a difficult time with it. I still don’t quite remember all the circumstances of how it all came about, but I’m pretty confident now that this poem was the result of a personal request from someone else.

I find this all very intriguing. To craft a well-written poem that captures the heart of an experience that I only learned about by proxy illustrates the power of rhetoric. I find it nothing short of incredible. The fact I could capture the sentiment shared with me and bring it to life on the page for someone else really blows my mind. Words are powerful.

What if instead of using words to help others, someone uses words to incite hate and enmity in others? It is a scary thought. Hitler’s propaganda comes to mind. It’s not the word themselves that are good or bad, but how the people behind the words decide to use them. This is why after discovering a love of words and the power they can wield, I decided long ago I would do everything in my power to use my affinity for words to uplift and inspire those around me. This is also why I tend to despise politics or sensational news media in general. I don’t like it when people use the power of words to manipulate or harm others.

This sentiment goes way back for me. It was my own father who led by example on this one. Though he had his own opinions about the scientific discoveries he made on a daily basis, he never tried to coerce anyone to his point of view. He presented all sides of an issue and felt the reader should come to their own conclusion about a topic based on all the evidence. That’s not to say he didn’t try and persuade people to his point of view. However, he wanted it to be on their terms, with all the facts at their disposal, not his. I think there is a fine line between persuasion (where the reader still has a choice) and coercion (where a reader's agency is manipulated so much it becomes in question or lost). I choose to follow in my father’s footsteps. I choose to support rhetoric that encourages the reader's full use of agency and self-discovery.

Do you have any ideals in your own life that you strive to meet on a daily basis? What is it that you stand for? Is there someone you admire who has stood for something? I’d love to hear about your experience in the comments below.

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