The Boy I Left Behind Poems

Timeless

Our relationship together

Is a web through time.

Slowly spinning up, down

around

A never-ending kaleidoscope of you and me.

Sometimes it sparkles

when we laugh

like raindrops

And sometimes it breaks

and I cry.

Our web is very delicate

but it keeps holding on.

I wonder how

I don’t understand –

But then, I see you smile

and my heart remembers.

Poem by Jenn, 1994

Regret

I can’t believe I’m feeling

this way

especially now, when it’s

too late anyhow.

There were so many times

when it could have been so right

But now it’s so wrong

and I just don’t belong

in your life –

Not in that way.

Why…

Why did I make you believe

I didn’t care?

And make you see only emptiness there?

You were always there for me

with a smile.

You patiently waited for your chance

that never came.

And I only have myself

to blame.

Poem by Jenn, 1995

The Rest of the Story

Thanks to the global pandemic known as COVID-19, I guess I’m feeling a bit sorry for myself as I’m confined to my home—or at the very least, a little nostalgic for “the way things used to be.” This feeling sent me on a trip down memory lane as I searched for poems to post to the blog this week. While I was initially looking for something that would bring me back to my more recent every-day normal (having lunch with friends, perhaps?), I ended up coming across two throw-back poems to my high school and college days.

Have you ever experienced bad timing when it comes to love? 

Well, that’s the rest of this story … longer version below. :-)

I became fast friends with the unnamed guy in the above poems in high school. I don’t think I’ve ever hit it off so quickly with someone in my life, other than my husband. Well, this guy and I would literally spend hours together in my car or at the park simply talking about anything and everything. I just love a good conversationalist—and this guy was one of the best. At the height of our budding friendship, I went away one summer on an exchange program to another country. Had I not left, I’m certain we would have hooked up. However, fate had other plans. Perhaps it was the exotic nature of being on my own without my parents for the very first time, but I fell head over heels for one of the other exchange students from my group who was also from my hometown.  I essentially came back from that trip with a boyfriend, much to the chagrin of the boy I left behind.

Fast forward another year. Everyone was getting ready to leave for college, including my boyfriend. When he got put on the wait list for his top college in another state, I was secretly excited that we’d go to college together, as I was staying in town. However, one phone call changed everything. He was bumped up on the wait list and accepted after all. Let’s just say he ultimately broke my heart before he left and that was the end of that.

Through it all, the boy I left behind had remained a good friend. Of course, by the time I began pining for our friendship to blossom into something more, he had moved on to another relationship. How in the world could we have such horrible timing? The above poems tell all.

It is interesting how life takes its various twists and turns. I personally believe everything happens for a reason and ultimately I ended up with the current love of my life who was worth the wait. Nearly 24 years later, I cannot imagine life without him or our girls.  

Have you ever had bad timing when it came to a relationship or other missed opportunity? Did things work out for the best anyway? Or do you still wish for the days that were? I’d love to hear your story in the comments below.